Painful Kindness and Consideration
Temperment: Hurt
Days Left Til Mercer Return:10
Record: "Memorial Address ~take 2 version~" by Ayumi Hamasaki

I remember I went to sleep late that night feeling uneasy
And had a very sad dream
The phone started to ring in the morning, breaking the silence
And the premonition became a reality
Leaving an unfading scar on my heart
You became a star by yourself


The Car ride is silent. I can't help but wish I was anywhere but there. It's hard to breathe hard to swallow hard to do anything but just walk with everyone else.

The automatic doors slide open with a whisper and we enter walking toward the counter. An old man come up to us and takes my brother and I aside. He asks if we'd like refreshmants my brother gladly accepts I say no thank you and try and push past but the old man grabs my arm.

Sayonara --- You have gone to the place where we can never meet again
I can't accept the coldness of the eternal parting
I wish I could have heard from you
That I had certainly been loved by you
Only once, even if it had been a lie

"It would mean so much to us if you'd take something."

I can feel my mouth turn into an impacient line but force it into a slight smile and accep a Coke.

They're so far away. I take my brother and met them again. I hand him the Coke, I can't drink it and he loves them. We wait. Things happen.

The sorrow I had thought to be endless came to an end
The season has changed, I feel bitterly cold
I will never forget that first day of summer
The sky kept on weeping instead of me this year
I feel as if I were living in the continuation of the dream
And I can't even cry now

We take the elscalator up and walk to something reminisant of a sunroom. An indoor park...metal chairs and tables, potted trees. People moving. We walk forward and an old woman stops us.

"God bless you," she says to him.

My throat tightens and I can't help but hate the woman a little. I walk forward alone as he thanks her. We stand in line. No one says much but we're all so close togehter. An old woman taps him on the shoulder.

"Thank you," is all she says.

He returns the thank you and I bite my lip and whipe my nose. Applause break out. A hundred people simulanteously break out in applause, whistles, and cheers. My eyes water and I clear my throat.

We finally sit down..but only for a moment. I sit there looking at his shoes. I dont know what to say or how to act or anything. I open my mouth but the moment is gone. He gets up and so do I. He kisses my forehead and says I love you.

Tears come and I start to sob. I'm so angry. I feel so robbed. I just want to tear down the sky and end the whole world. I'm always the one that cries first, no matter what he never cries...he stands there and shh's me and I feel so small. Then by the time I can see clearly again he's waving good bye.
Sayonara --- Even my last words don't reach you
I'm made to realize the coldness of the parting
I wish I could have heard from you
That you never regretted the days we had spent together
Only once, even if it had been a lie

I rest my hand against the glass and watch the plane. I have the most random thought. We watched a movie the day before. A girl's dad is killed and someone asks if she needs to be told because "there was no love between them." An older man responds "Kin folk are funny about such things...go let her know."

Why did you do it this way
Leaving memories only to the very end?

I hate airports...hospitals...and other points of parting....too many good byes.

Sayonara --- You have gone to the place where we can never meet again
I can't accept the coldness of the eternal parting
I wish I could have heard from you
That I had certainly been loved by you
Only once, even if it had been a lie

We leave before the plane takes off and dont speak on much.

And I just want to tear down the sky.

Please tell me this is only the story of the continuing dream
And that I'm not yet awake